everything is temporary.

oh yeah oxford uni rejected me so um yh life is bad

WHY AM I NOT IMPORTANT WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY CARE ABOUT ME

it’s been a while

it’s been a longass time since i was last on here but i need a rant and as i have no friends this clearly is the only place i can go

since i last posted: my baby brother alfie was born

i love him more than anything, except his mum fucking hates me and she wants to leave my dad because i apparently make her want to kill herself and throw herself off a balcony and try to mother him and make her feel invalid

all i want to do is fucking cuddle him occassionally because he makes me happy 

she is such a selfish fucking cunt, i help as much as i can and all i get is hatred

i genuinely don’t know what to do, why do all dad’s girlfriends end up hating me??? all i try and do is help and make life easier for everyone, i never talk about myself or my own issues for the sake of everybody else

and i can’t just leave alfie alone because i love him, but it is clearly what she wants, but then if i ignore him i’ll be a ‘bad sister’ who wants nothing to do with him I CANNOT FUCKING WIN

apaz she has post natal depression but she’s a cunt so i don’t actually care

get on with depression like the rest of us

ps dad grow a backbone and stop your girlfriends from treating your own child like shit because i have had enough

ugh

fuck

need someone to actually care about me for a fucking change

in work when i’m washing up the sharp knives a piece of me always hopes that i’ll slip and hit a vein ‘accidentally’

not sure i can do this anymore

college today was so awful, it made me realise how unprepared i am for life

i am incapable of every day things and all i want is death

i can’t be around people

nice one me, just fucking relapse

nice one me, just fucking relapse

I am so fucking sad

My love for you was bulletproof but you’re the one who shot me.

if i don’t get into oxford uni i’m going to kill myself

it doesn’t even feel worth applying to universities because i doubt i’ll graduate because i’ll be dead first

if i kill myself at uni will my dad have to pay my fees / loans